Ramesh Ek Bar Kisi Company Mein Job Ke Liye Interview Dene Gaya
Manager: Aapki Shaadi Ho Gayi?
Ramesh: Ji Haan, Ek Ladki Se Hui
Manager: Shaadi To Ladki Se Hi Hoti Hai!!
Ramesh: Nahi Ji, Meri Behan Ki Shaadi To Ladke Se Hui Hai
2 Hijade ek shaadi ki badhai dene gaye…
Pehli: haaye haaye, main to 1100 lungi
Dusri boli: main to 2100 lungi
Peechhe se Ramesh bola
“Abey 2310 le lo… usme FM bhi hai !!”
Suresh ne hazamat ki dukaan kholi,
Ek din Ramesh shave karaane aaya.
Suresh: Muchh rakhni hai?
Ramesh: Haan
Suresh (Muchh Kaat Kar): Le rakh le jahaa rakhni hai!
Ramesh: Aisi cheez ka naam bata, jo laal ho aur trin trin karti hai….
Suresh: Telephone
Ramesh: galat
Suresh: to fir kya hai ?
Ramesh: Tamater…
trin trin to confuse karne ke liye bola tha…
Ramesh:
Doctor, Main subah 9 bajje uthta hoon to mujhe saans lene mein
takleef hoti hai…
Doctor:
Beta.. jaldi utha karo…
Kyunki saari Oxygen to baba Ramdev aur unke chele kheench lete
hain… takleef to aayegi hi na!!
judge: Tumne iske paise kyun churaye?
Suresh:
Maine paise nahin churaye
Isne khud hi diye the
Judge: Isne paise kab diye?
Suresh: Jab maine ise bandook dikhayi!
Ramesh ke hath mein naya phone dekhkar Suresh bola:
Naya phone kab khareeda?
Ramesh: Naya nahin, Girlfriend ka hai!
Suresh: Girlfriend ka phone kyun le aaya?
Ramesh:
Roj kehti thi, Mera phone nahin uthaate..!
Aaj mauka mila, to utha laaya!!
A Chinese man’s wife dies 1 year after marriage…
Ramesh Sardar tries to console Chinese but doesn’t know what to say..!!
Sardar : Hota hai yaar. Chinese thi, aur kitna chalti…
Outside a parrot’s cage in a zoo on a board it’s written :
Parrot can speak in English, Hindi and Punjabi…
Ramesh decided to check this out..
He asked the parrot :”Who are you”?
Parrot : “I’m a parrot. ”
Ramesh (in Hindi) : “Tum kaun ho”?
Parrot : “Main ek tota hun”..
Ramesh (this time in Punjabi) : “Tussi kaun O”?
Parrot : “Teri Maa Da Yaar… Tenu ik vari samajh nahi Aundi… Tu
khota te main tota..!!”
Closing the Divorce and Alimony case of Ramesh Singh vs Preeto Kaur…
Judge : I have reviewed this case carefully and have decided to give your wife
alimony of Rs 20,000 per month.
Ramesh: That’s very fair & kind of you, your honor. And whenever possible,
I’ll also try to give her some money myself!!
Teacher : Name different type of Cheese.
Suresh :
1. White
2. Cottage
3. Mozarella
4. Cheddar
5. Swiss blue
6. Bekhudi
7. Zindagi
Teacher : Wait a minute, what is ‘Bekhudi’ and ‘Zindagi’?
Suresh : Hosh walon ko khabar kya, ‘Bekhudi’ kya cheese hai. Ishq kijiye phir
samjhiye, ‘Zindagi’ kya cheese hai….
Ramesh’s e-banking password was:
“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”
Suresh: Yaar! Itna lamba password?
Ramesh: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5
character aur 1 capital hona chahie….
Suresh: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??
Ramesh: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai…
Ek Bar Ek Angrej India Ghumne Aya,
Ghumte Ghumte Punjab Ke Ek Gaanv Mein Pahuncha
Waha Use Ramesh Dikha To Usne Ramesh Se Puchha
Angrej: Kya Tumhare Gaanv Mein Koi Mahaan Aadmi Paida Hua Hai?
Ramesh Kuch Sochke Bola:
Nahi Ji, Idhar Sab Chote Bachhe Hi Paida Hote Hai
Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Ramesh: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Ramesh: To pagal AAurat Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
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